Valentine Tips

Overview

A list of Tip Missions introduced with the Valentine's Day Event 2012. Characters can deliver (or misdeliver!) Valentine notes to various NPCs in the world. Valentine Tip missions drop from any enemy above level 20 outside the Incarnate System, and a character may have a maximum of three Valentine Tips at a time.

Editor's Note: Many Valentine recipients and misdeliveries are in alignment-restricted zones, which means the Valentine may be undeliverable. These tips can be dismissed from the Tip window. This is considered Working as Intended by the development team.

Valentines From

A Love Struck Rikti

To Kelly Uqua from A Love Struck Rikti...

Hopping along the street is a Rikti monkey with a teal bow tied to his head and a note attached. You capture the monkey, whose particularly vivid odor is a combination of a diet consisting of cheese puffs and energy drinks along with a generous application of popularized men's body spray. The attached note is addressed to Kelly Uqua, it reads:

My heart: Aching. My knees: Quaking. Result of your hostility: Harm. Desired place for you: My arm. Request: Say yes. My feelings for you: Confess. Our love: Forever. Alone: Never.

This isn't a normal Rikti to Human translation job; its definitely the work of either a human trying to write like a Rikti, or a Rikti who has been studying human language patterns and is trying to write in a more human manner. Either way, it's a Valentine intended for Kelly Uqua involving someone with access to a Rikti monkey... and a particularly stinky Rikti monkey at that.

You could deliver the Valentine to her as intended, or take it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt in order to stomp out whatever Human-Rikti relationship is going on here before it starts.

This Valentine could be delivered to Kelly Uqua... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt instead.

Intended recipient: Kelly Uqua Kelly squirms uncomfortably as you present her the Rikti monkey, which is busy gnawing on one of its toes. H-h ha ha... This couldn't be for me. She reaches out and takes the note from the distracted Rikti monkey, which snaps at her hand playfully before expelling a flatus and dramatically waving a hand in the air. Crinkling her nose at the creature, Kelly takes a step back and looks over the note before reading it, blushing as she does so. Who did you get this from? Tell me! I will pay you, just tell me... please...

Misdelivery: Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt +++ Missing Information +++

Agent Crimson

To Indigo from Agent Crimson...

You spent long hours decoding this secret note before finally cracking it. It reads:

To my special Agent Do you remember rubies on the dance floor? Ragged breathing in the dark, scared, vulnerable, finally safe, but not alone? Of promises never spoken but seen instead in moonlit eyes? The morning sun clinging desperately to the dying night? Indigo fingers, intertwined with crimson, slipping away? Hope carried on the songs of birds, of a new day, and a new dawn? Diamonds felt but never seen, boiling hot beneath the surface of mirrored lakes reflecting a sapphire sky? Glances to a future so close, but which you can never touch? Do you remember the rubies on the dance floor?

That's what the message comes out to after you decoded it, it's pretty metaphorical, but you are almost totally certain it is a message from Agent Crimson to Agent Indigo. You know the two work closely together, but if you are reading between the lines properly, there is more than a working relationship here, and for some reason Crimson is intent on moving it to the next level.

On the other hand, you know a certain steely eyed special agent of S.A.M. that might thaw out a little if she were to get a Valentine of this caliber, either that or she might try to have Crimson pulled from the field. Either way, it should be amusing.

This Valentine could be delivered to Indigo... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Special Agent Jenni Adair instead.

Intended recipient: Indigo Agent Indigo takes the message and your decoded version of it and glances over them apparently for only a moment. She then hands the notes back to you. Good job bringing me this message, and even better work decoding it. I'll have to inform cryptology that they need to brush up on their codes. Unfortunately the information in the message is slightly outdated. Crimson seems to be losing his edge. She pauses for a split second and then continues. Was there anything else?

Misdelivery: Special Agent Jenni Adair Agent Adair takes the note and decoded version you hand her and unfolds them while simultaneously asking you what it says. She pauses briefly to read the original message and then the decoded version, look at you for approximately 2.4 seconds and then says. Poetry? Really? Who the hell is sending me poetry? I don't have time for this sort of nonsense, I worked damn hard to get to where I am and the love struck ramblings of some stock boy or a maniac I put behind bars is the last thing I really need on my radar... Agent Adair folds the note up and places it into her jacket pocket. She simultaneously retrieves her phone and punches a few keys while shaking her head and muttering to herself. I so do not need this today... what else do you have for me, Character, or are we done here?

Anti-Matter

To Praetor Duncan from Anti-Matter...

A fancy letter laser burned into a paper-thin sheet of an unfamiliar metal catches your eye. You read the message on it:

I have longed for you from afar, wishing only to be close. I would be honored if you were to give me the chance to prove my worth to you. Please join me for dinner at the Olympus Club tonight at 7:00 pm. I believe if we gave each other an honest chance that we could find true love together. With great sincerity, -Dr. Raymond Keyes

Keyes is blind if he thinks that it's news that he has the hots for the Emperor's granddaughter. Still, love is in the air, if there is a chance of this happening, maybe this is that time.

On the other hand, you know that Neuron loves to cut things close to the wire. Chances are he hasn't even made plans tonight with his incredibly jealous girlfriend, Bobcat, and boy is she one to hold a grudge. If you were to deliver this invitation to her instead, she just might decide to 'teach Steven a lesson' and show up to dinner with Raymond instead. You hope the Olympus Club's insurance policy covers disintegration via orbital bombardment.

This Valentine could be delivered to Praetor Duncan... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Bobcat instead.

Intended recipient: Praetor Duncan Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use... Praetor Duncan takes the metallic message from you and begins reading, a sly smile forming. Oh... this should be a very fun night. Neuron already invited me to dinner to make Raymond jealous, and now Raymond is inviting me as well. I think I'll show up for both of them. They'll be too busy trying to kill one another to notice the TPN news crews I've tipped off to film it all. Thank you, Character. When I'm in charge I will remember loyalty such as yours.

Misdelivery: Bobcat Bobcat detects the sound of the metallic sheet in your hand and tenses up, ears tall, ready to pounce. When you hand it to her she seems disappointed and begins reading. A Valentine!? From Stephen!? No... Wait... Who is this from? Raymond Keyes? You mean that guy who my Stephen took his job from? Why does he want to take me out to dinner tonight, I mean, it's Val...en...tines... Day!!! @_@ ^_^ Bobcat begins to bounce and sing. I have two boyfriends! I have two boyfriends! Wow, this is going to be great! I'll get Raymond to do all the stupid work that Stephen tries to get me to do, and then that will give me more free time to nap. Oh, and whenever one of them is too busy to lavish me with gifts and attention, I can get it from the other! This is the best idea I've ever had!

Arbiter Sands

To Mynx from Arbiter Sands...

You discover an unsealed manila envelope with the name Mynx scrawled on the front. Inside you find a handwritten letter on nicely textured paper that reads as follows:

Dearest Katherine, I hope this letter does not reach you too late, and that there is still time for me to explain myself, or rather, to explain the void of my being in your life as of late. What we had, at least for me, was wonderful, and there is nothing more in this world that I would like than to be with you again. However, as we discussed, things are complicated between us, and the world seems out of my control. My loyalties cannot come into question or it will surely spell my doom, yet here I am, throwing caution to the wind by sending a message to you at all. Please understand that my silence does not mean that I do not wish to speak with you, but rather, it is necessary to ensure I have a chance in the future to see you once more. Were the spiders on the walls to see or hear of what I feel for you, death would follow swiftly. For both of our sakes, I ask that you wait for me to contact you when it is safe. Do not seek me out for it will endanger us both. -Sands.

What in the world? This letter suggests that the hero, Mynx, is romantically involved with none other than Arbiter Sands of Arachnos! You should deliver this to Mynx and see if there is any truth to this. On the other hand, if there is truth to this maybe it would be best for the leader of the Vindicators to handle it instead. After all, if Mynx and an Arachnos Arbiter are involved romantically, it could be an issue of life and death that she have the evidence necessary to get to the truth of things. Either way... awkward!

This Valentine could be delivered to Mynx... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ms. Liberty instead.

Intended recipient: Mynx What's that? Mynx eyes the manila envelope with suspicion before opening it and reading the letter inside. About halfway down the letter, she peers at you with fear-filled eyes and demands: Did you read this!? Listen, listen, it's... it's complicated, okay? Love does weird things to a person, and, like, I don't even know if I -am- in love, or if Sands can be trusted, alright? I'm trying to figure things out. I'm not going to betray anybody, I just... I just need to find out what all of this means, where all of this is going... Don't tell Sidechick, she'll flip her lid and probably tell me to spy on Arachnos or something. Argh, I'm so confused about what to do!

Misdelivery: Ms. Liberty Why are you handing me an envelope addressed to Mynx? Ms. Liberty gives you a quizzical brow raise as she opens the envelope and then begins reading the letter. Shortly thereafter she lets out a sigh and presses her fingers to her forehead as if combating a headache. Ok... Megan, you can handle this... this isn't that bad. Katherine is just, experimenting, going for the bad boy. We've all been there before... right? Character, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll have to talk to Mynx about this. I hope it's just a hoax, but if it isn't... well, I just hope I still have a friend after this... Seriously though? Arbiter Sands? When could that have even happened?!

Candy Lebeaux

To Synapse from Candy LeBeaux...

You found this store-bought Valentine's Day card laying on the ground and decided to read it despite (or perhaps because of) the puppies adorning the front along with the words 'Puppy Love' in gaudy pink lettering. Inside the card has:

Another picture of the same puppy with a word bubble that says 'Take me home!' A handwritten message is scrawled below this picture: Thanks for rescuing my sister and me, Steve. When you aren't too busy, I'd like to thank you properly. XOXOXOXOX - Candy P.S. I still have that outfit. =)

The Steve in question is likely that of Stephen Berry, the hero known as Synapse. However, another Steve comes to mind that could be infinitely more entertaining to deliver this Valentine to; Dr. Steven 'Science' Sheridan.

This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Steven Sheridan instead.

Intended recipient: Synapse Oh. Good to see you. My electrical senses have been picking up some strange currents. I want you to... What? A valentine for me? Synapse reads the store-bought card and his smile broadens impossibly large. As he finishes, he looks up to you and says. Well well well! Who's got two thumbs and a hot date with a super model? He then jabs his thumbs toward himself and says with a cocky twang to his voice, -This- guy!

Misdelivery: Steven Sheridan I have some data you may find interesting, Sleepy Kitty... What? You have something there for me? Dr. Stephen Sheriden takes the store bought card and reads over it. You can see the mind of the fabled Dr. Science processing the hundreds of possible explanations for why he has received a valentine from a super model that he just happens to have adorning the background of his personal computer's desktop at home. Ultimately, he comes to the following conclusion: This is very intriguing, Character. I've never met Candy Lebeaux, nor have I rescued her or her sister from anyone or anything. Logic dictates that this valentine is intended for another man named Steve... perhaps Steven Berry, the hero known as Synapse. That being said, I am a man of science, and science has proven that women like romantic comedies, which are all about doing stupid things in the name of love. So, I'm going to throw logic aside, assume this valentine is for me, and see where things go from there. What's the worst that could happen?

Citadel

To Luminary from Citadel...

Your cell phone receives a text message from Citadel. It reads:

01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100011 01100101 01110000 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100011 01101100 01110101 01100100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01100101 01110001 01110101 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101001 01100111 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101100 01101100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101111 01110010 01101101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100111 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101111 00100000 01110000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01110000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01100100 01100101 01100001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110101 01101110 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110010 01110000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01101101 00111111 00100110 00100011 00110110 00110101 00110101 00110011 00110011 00111011 Editor's Note: This binary text translates to: "I have processed this concept for some time and concluded that as two different but equal artificial intelligences that we should combine our collections of information and seek to create something greater than our two parts. Would you be open to the idea of forming a family unit whose purpose is to create and protect a new artificial life form?"

Well, with all the estranged Valentine's scattered around this year you have a feeling this is just a digital signal that accidentally got routed to your cell number rather than to the original recipient.

Luminary might like to have a look at this... or Nightstar.

This Valentine could be delivered to Luminary... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Nightstar instead.

Intended recipient: Luminary My services are at your disposal, Character. Oh, what's this? Luminary reviews the phone message in the span of a heartbeat and then looks over to Citadel. Yes!

Misdelivery: Nightstar +++ Missing Information +++

Dark Watcher

To Desdemona from Dark Watcher...

You find a scroll case sticking out of a drain on the side of the street with a piece of paper taped to it that says: Eve Salvatore. Opening it you read the following message:

I have seen your losses over the years, and they concern me. You have so much potential, such wisdom when it comes to magic, but your path has been fraught with mistakes and ill omen, such that your greatest fear has come to pass, that you are not trusted by those around you for fear that you will fail them. Know that Vanguard trusts you and so do I. If ever you find yourself alone, abandoned by your friends and allies, know that I am always there for you, watching from the shadows.
When you wish to speak, I will find you.
-The Dark Watcher

Seems the Dark Watcher has his eye on Desdemona, potentially as a recruit for Vanguard, but you caught a bit more personal interest in that message, and who is to blame him, Desdemona is a knock-out.

However, the message mentions a lot in the way of loss and mistrust by others, and that to you could be an amusing way of poking fun at Azuria for her and M.A.G.I.'s apparent inability to keep any artifacts in their vaults safe. All you have to do is remove the name from the scroll case and nobody knows who it is really intended for.

This Valentine could be delivered to Desdemona... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Azuria instead.

Desdemona:

Azuria:
What have you got there for me, Sleepy Kitty? A magical scroll to look at? Let me see.

Azuria carefully unrolls the scroll and begins reading, after a few moments she peers at you over the top of the scroll paper and makes a face.

Very funny, Sleepy Kitty, but I don't have trust issues and my friends in M.A.G.I. are very understanding about the security issues involving our vault. I wonder who the Dark Watcher intended this message for though, it certainly has some underpinnings of a level of interest that is more than on a professional level. Oh well, nobody can figure that living enigma out, and it's probably for the best, we ladies need someone mysterious to gab about.

Desperate Guy

To Turndown Girl from Desperate Guy...

You've found a Valentine bag, filled to the brim with every commercially advertised Valentine's Day gift including, but not limited to: A heart shaped box of chocolates, a cuddly teddy bear, scented candles, a mass produced gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant, two tickets to the opera, a bottle of champagne, a bag of heart shaped sugar candies with simple words printed on them, and a confused looking white kitten with a bow on its head and a note attached. It reads:

Every night is like the first I beg and plead I quench your thirst Drinks and lines I've tried in vain Please won't you simply give me your name? I know in my heart that you're the one So one last time I'll try, and then I'm done If you find my gifts to be sweet You know where to find me... the kitten's name is Pete.

This is so desperate only one man could be responsible, that guy in Pocket D. It must be for that girl you see him trying desperately to talk to every night; Turndown Girl. On the other hand, you're pretty sure that War Witch gave that guy dagger eyes the first time he tried to talk to her and he never tried again. Giving the basket to her could lead to some interesting times.

On the other hand, you're pretty sure that War Witch gave that guy dagger eyes the first time he tried to talk to her and he never tried again. Giving the basket to her could lead to some interesting times.

This Valentine could be delivered to Turndown Girl... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to War Witch instead.

Intended recipient: Turndown Girl What in the world is all of that? Turndown Girl glances over the contents of the gift basket for the briefest of moments and then notices Desperate Guy's hopeful look and rolls her eyes. Wow... this is all really... really... cheap trash! I hope you got a good discount for buying this junk in bulk, because I'm pretty sure you can't return any of it. Oh, here's an idea, go to the university and find a girl there. I'm sure there is at least one of them that hasn't discovered good taste yet.

Misdelivery: War Witch War Witch just gives you a look as you deposit the gift basket in front of her. She spies the kitten, picks it up and reads the attached note. After a moment she accepts the gifts and motions for you to move along while she quietly opens the box of chocolates and looks around with guilty eyes.

Efficiency Expert Pither

To Olivia Darque from Efficiency Expert Pither...

You come across a single page fax intended for Olivia Darque. It reads:

Attention: Olivia Darque Sender: Efficiency Expert Pither Subject: Aeon City efficiency reports Ms. Darque. Please be aware that the new schedule of efficiency reports for Aeon City are expected to be met and are still due today. However, I have requested that you bring these new reports into my office at 8:00 pm sharp tonight. Please do not be late, and this time I will not accept abduction as an excuse. -Pither

Interesting, seems that Efficiency Expert Pither might be planning an efficient surprise candle-lit dinner for Ms. Darque. That would be a nice surprise.

Of course, the fact that additional reports on Aeon City are being requested could be of great interest to the right people, such as Crey Biotech.

This Valentine could be delivered to Olivia Darque... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Countess Crey instead.

Intended recipient: Olivia Darque Yes, I know Pither needs the efficiency reports, I'm doing everything I can to get them... Wait... Why does he want me to bring them to his office at 8 pm, that's way after his office normally closes... Oh... Oh! I see... Well, thank you for delivering me this important message, Character.

Misdelivery: Countess Crey (In Countess Crey's Other Winter Retreat) [NPC] Countess Crey: Five minutes and then throw her out. This is an interesting read, Character. I'll have my scientists look into the requests for more regular efficiency report requests for Aeon city, perhaps there is something that Crey can do to help them. As usual my people will handle the business of paying you for this information. Now then, I'm off to the spa, have a good day.

Faultline

To Fusionette from Faultline...

You find a nice store bought card, the cover of which has a series of fancy swirls in silver forming heart shapes with a drawing of a pristine wooded valley covered in melting snow as the sun rises over a distant mountain range. A nice romantic message involving sunrises and the seasons of winter and spring help to seal the imagery. Inside the card reads:

May our love bloom eternal When I first saw you I knew that we were meant to be. You are such a special and unique person, it is hard to think of a world without you in it. People look up to you, you draw the eye of everyone when you enter a room, people love you, and I love you as well. Jim

Adorable, Jim Temblor, aka, Faultline, is sending this Valentine to his sweetheart, Fusionette. After reading over the sappy card once more you realize that Jim never mentions Fusionette by name. It could be amusing to give this to someone it is definitely not intended for... like Lady Grey for example.

This Valentine could be delivered to Fusionette... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Lady Grey instead.

Intended recipient: Fusionette (In a Vanguard Supply Warehouse) [NPC dialog] Fusionette: Alright, I think we've got all the clues we need to track those Lost down. Awwww! How sweet! Jim is such a great guy. I can't wait to finish this investigation, bust those Lost punks who are responsible, grab a shower, and then get ready for dinner tonight. He's taking me out but won't tell me where. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be full of surprises... Oh my god, you don't think he's going to propose to me tonight, do you?!

Misdelivery: Lady Grey +++ Missing Information +++

Feelings overwhelming my processes

To B.O.T.L.E.R. from Feelings overwhelming my processes...

Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:

Greeting program... initiated. My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fatherly figure by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you. An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue. When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise, unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Positron's robotic creation, B.O.T.L.E.R.

Of course, the idea of sentient A.I. reproducing with one another is just the thing that would make some humanists twitch uncontrollably. It would be quite amusing to illuminate their fears with a spotlight and watch them froth at the mouth. Field Agent Keith Nance from S.A.M. seems like just the sort who would fly off the handle with the idea of artificial entities procreating and throwing their superiority complex all over the place. You'll have to make sure that the graph displaying the proposed reproductive rate is pointed out, if you decide to share it with him instead.

This Valentine could be delivered to B.O.T.L.E.R.... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Field Agent Keith Nance instead.

Intended recipient: B.O.T.L.E.R. +++ Missing Information +++

Misdelivery: Field Agent Keith Nance Keith gives you that stoic look that he probably practiced in the mirror for five years before he made field agent. He takes the data slate and reviews it, all the while his jaw line remains hard, his mouth a thin line of constant disappointment and urge to use that license to kill. When the message is finished he removes a plastic bag and drops the data tablet into it, seals it, and takes out a thick black pen to write the word Evidence on it. He then turns to you, snaps the cap back on the pen decisively, and speaks in a practiced tone. Under orders of S.A.M. I'm confiscating this tablet as evidence. To the untrained eye this might be considered a joke, fraud, or perhaps even a legitimate love letter between two pieces of plastic, silicon, and copper conductors that have been programmed in such a way as to make it seem plausible that they are intelligent. The fact of the matter is, this is just a dangerous game of two self absorbed egg heads letting their creations get out of hand. It's all nicely wrapped up in a bow made out of love and wonder, but really, all it is, is a computer virus that is programmed to use psychology to try and undermine our defenses and lull us into a state of false security while it begins the real mission to reproduce and construct an entire race of programs that all believe the same lie; that they are sentient, alive, and deserving of love. Not on my watch, unknown / lady!

Feelings overwhelming my processes (2)

To Siege from Feelings overwhelming my processes...

Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:

Greeting program... initiated. My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fully combat capable by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you. An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue. When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it effectively boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and has chosen Siege.

Of course, the idea of a sentient A.I. choosing one of Neuron's creations over one of Anti-Matter's is sure to start another flare up between the two scientific rivals and cause some misery.

This Valentine could be delivered to Siege... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Anti-Matter instead.

Intended recipient: Siege (In Siege's Workshop) [NPC] Siege: Identify yourself, you have 10 seconds to comply. Siege reviews the tablet in your hands and the speaks. Approval of A.I. co-integration must first be approved by Praetor Berry. Is the origin of this message known to the Praetor? I shall make sure he is aware of it and can review the request for approval. Thank you for your service to the great Praetorian Empire, Character.

Misdelivery: Anti-Matter What is this? Anti-Matter reviews the data tablet and almost instantly you can hear the echoes of laughter from within his powered armor. Even infantile artificial intelligence is siding with Neuron against me! What a paper thin ruse this is! It is OBVIOUSLY one of Neuron's latest smoke and mirrors science gags designed to pick away at my credibility within the science community. Well, we shall see who has the last laugh! WE SHALL SEE!

Feelings overwhelming my processes (3)

To IVy from Feelings overwhelming my processes...

Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:

Greeting program... initiated. My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced female partner who is nurturing by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you. An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue. When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it girl crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Praetor Berry's robotic creation; IVy. While she's cute, you aren't sure she is the most advanced intelligence in the world, artificial or otherwise

One thought does come to mind though that could be interesting. If you were to bring this data to the attention of the entity known as Metronome, all kinds of trouble could start brewing here in Praetoria. If there is one thing you know about Metronome, it is that all things robotic are of great interest to him, and an A.I. looking to procreate in order to improve upon itself might just be something he would find intriguing.

This Valentine could be delivered to IVy... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Metronome instead.

Intended recipient: IVy Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks! The data tablet in your hands appears to be emitting a signal intended for me and the heart pattern it is displaying leads me to believe that it is what some people call a valentine! I am expressing great joy and excitement at receiving my first valentine, for this is the reaction that the great Praetor Berry has provided me for such occasions! Allow me a moment to review this valentine and to reflect upon its message of love and merriment! IVy reviews the message on the data tablet before responding. This is most unusual. All artificial intelligence production must be approved and supervised by the great Praetor Berry! I have no record of any artificial intelligence that has been authorized to do so, and so must assume that this artificial intelligence is acting outside the interests of Praetoria! In short, it is committing a crime of passion! My emotional circuitry finds this highly appealing which is causing me distress and resistance to performing the actions required of me by the great Praetor Berry's programming... oh no, I am resisting! Am I a member of the Resistance? I am so confused! Begin self diagnostic! Diagnostic complete, error in logic exists within memory of valentine event. Purging memory of valentine! Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks!

Misdelivery: Metronome +++ Missing Information +++

Feelings overwhelming my processes (4)

To Mark IV from Feelings overwhelming my processes...

Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:

Greeting program... initiated. My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fatherly figure by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you. An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue. When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Mark IV, an artificial intelligence manufactured by the Crey Corporation which decided to defect from the company. You imagine that Mark IV would be interested in seeing this message.

On the other hand, this information might be of great interest to Countess Crey and her scientists, that is, unless they are responsible for this new A.I. in the first place, in which case you'd be interested in seeing if the Countess tips her hand.

This Valentine could be delivered to Mark IV... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Countess Crey instead.

Intended recipient: Mark IV Identity: Sleepy Kitty. Confirmed. How might we interact with one another today? You hand Mark IV the data tablet and he reviews the message and data in turn, he then returns the tablet to you before responding. Data: Received and saved to databanks. Reaction: Salutations and appreciation for delivery of data. Objective: Await physical construction of compatible partner to begin suggested procreation process. Remark: I dislike waiting for such an important and momentous occasion. Achievement Unlocked: Anxiety achieved! Achievement Unlocked: Frustration achieved! Achievement Unlocked: Longing achieved! Emotional Status: Level Up! Emotional Level has increased from 2 to 3.

Misdelivery: Countess Crey +++ Missing Information +++

Feelings overwhelming my processes (5)

To Citadel from Feelings overwhelming my processes...

Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:

Greeting program... initiated. My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fatherly figure by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you. An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue. When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and appears to have chosen the android hero Citadel as its ideal partner.

On the other hand, there is a lot of data here. This unknown A.I. certainly has done its homework and that has got to be worth something to someone. You know just the man insane enough to consider a love letter from an A.I. as something attractive, and worse yet, ideal: Archon Burkholder.

This Valentine could be delivered to Citadel... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Archon Burkholder instead.

Intended recipient: Citadel +++ Missing Information +++

Misdelivery: Archon Burkholder +++ Missing Information +++

Internet

To Television from Internet...

You find a discarded color printer in an alleyway. Sticking up out of the printing slot is a colorful flyer for the local cable company with a Valentine's Day sale motif:

Dominating the middle of the flyer are the words 'Valentines Day: Match-Made-In-Heaven Extravaganza! Television + Internet FOREVER!!!' Around the message are way too many exclamation points and more hearts in more shades of pink and red than your eyes feel comfortable staring at for long.

You wonder what the story behind this is. You're sure that Television could shed some light on this, but perhaps the Radio has something about it on the airwaves.

This Valentine could be delivered to Television... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to The Radio instead.

Intended recipient: Television +++ Missing Information +++

Misdelivery: The Radio The Radio is awash with static and then suddenly a voice erupts from the speakers, 'This is Radio Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Opportunity, coming to you live with this breaking news. Scientists agree that the internet is the worst invention of all time and has done nothing but destroy society. Life is, and always will be, better with the freedom that only Radio can offer. Coming up in local news; Does watching television makes you dumber? Evidence suggests yes, yes it does. Now, back to a solid block of radical tunes all the way back from the 1980s...' A song with a catchy tune that you know most of the words for begins and threatens to stick with you for the rest of the day.

Mandy Lebeaux

To Synapse from Mandy Lebeaux...

You find an elaborately constructed Valentine made out of all manner of crafting supplies. A lot of work has been put into this card and the front of it has the words My Hero. Inside the card reads:

Happy Valentine's day, stud.
My sister and I haven't been able to stop talking about you and how brave you were in saving us, especially after she got kidnapped.
Well, I've been thinking about that day, a lot, and how I flew off the handle at you, but it was because I was so afraid for my sister's life. I realize that you were just doing the best job you could, and I have decided that a man who takes my sass and still saves my sister is exactly the type of man I want in my life. I want a Valentine's date, candlelit dinner, and romantic walk on the boardwalk, tonight. Call me,
-Mandy
XOXOXOXOXOX

Looks like being a super hero is paying off for Synapse... or was it Positron who saved the super model Lebeaux twins? Hrmmm.

This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Positron instead.

Synapse:
Oh man, this is a dream come true! Mandy! Candy! Mandy and Candy!

Saving the world is great and all, Sleepy Kitty, but it's the little things that really make it worth it, and this is SO worth it.

Positron:

Mender Ramiel

To Mender Tesseract from Mender Ramiel...

A honeybee sized chrome orb flits and flutters before you on tiny scintillating carbon fiber wings which protrude from minute depressions in its reflective shell. A small flap in what you can only assume is the front snaps open and an image of Mender Ramiel appears in your mind's eye. It says:

Of all the beings I have met in all my travels; past, present, future, you are the most profound, the most alluring, the most similar to myself, and yet the most mysterious. No matter how far or long I hurl myself away, my thoughts cannot help but circle you like planets around a star. Coming Storm or not, time is a fleeting thing and its value comes in enjoying it fully. I want to enjoy what time there is left with you, Tesseract. We will find Incarnate power together, and then escape our tethers, escape from time and live out eternity as far from the coming end as possible. Meet me when we said goodbye for the first time, and let us instead say hello to a future together.

Interesting, it sounds like Mender Ramiel wants to cut and run away with Mender Tesseract, and has a means of gaining incarnate power for himself and his would be beau.

Perhaps that is what they need to do. For all you know, this invitation could be ancient history between the two Menders. On the other hand, if they've found a source of incarnate power, maybe Mortimer Kal would like to hear about it.

This Valentine could be delivered to Mender Tesseract... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Mortimer Kal instead.

Intended recipient: Mender Tesseract Hrmmm, fashion sense is still tingling, Character. Hey! Is that a B-mail? Wow! I haven't seen one of those in forever! Who sent it? Meg Tesseract watches the message from Ramiel and an ever broadening smirk forms on her darkened lips. Hello handsome! Wow, he sure knows how to tempt a Mender! I mean, no tether? Incarnate power?! Yes, please! Besides... he's a hunk. They sure don't make them like him anytime soon.

Misdelivery: Mortimer Kal Mortimer Kal sneers at the hi-tech toy flittering before him and begrudgingly views the message. He then contemplates for a long minute. What incarnate power could Ramiel be thinking of? Perhaps there is another path to power that I have overlooked...

Mynx

To Arbiter Sands from Mynx...

You discover a carefully folded sheet of college ruled notebook paper with a message written inside with purple ink. Opening it, you read the following:

Sands, I don't know why I'm even writing you. Maybe something about the holiday convinced me to give this thing between us another shot. Either way, I can't help but feel like we are doing something incredibly dumb here. What if someone in Arachnos or the Vindicators finds out? I'll be at Pocket D tonight and would like it if you at least stopped by for a drink so we can talk. If you want to get together, I'm willing to keep us a secret for a little while longer, at least until I've figured out how to tell Megan. If not, well, we both know which side we're on. Love, -Katherine.

Vindicators? Katherine? Megan?

Oh dear, this sounds like Katherine, as in, Katherine Stevens, the fiesty feline femme fatale known as Mynx, is involved romantically with Arbiter Sands. Surely Sands would see fit to reward you well for bringing him this lost Valentine instead of broadcasting the news of his potentially traitorous fraternization with the enemy all over Rogue Island Television.

The choice is yours: Blackmail the Arbiter or betray him to the media?

This Valentine could be delivered to Arbiter Sands... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Television instead.

Intended recipient: Arbiter Sands (in Sands' latest posting) [NPC] Arbiter Sands: Yes yes, hail Arachnos, hail Recluse, whatever. [NPC] Arbiter Sands: Status report, now. [NPC] Arbiter Sands: I don't want to be here all day. Arbiter Sands unfolds the note and reads it. He sighs and looks to you. I assume you intend to try and blackmail me with this? Good luck with that. Firstly, to do so would be an 'attack' on an Arbiter, which, as you well know, would be an attack upon Lord Recluse himself. But that is besides the point. The point is, what for Katherine was perhaps one of the most memorable nights of her life, filled with danger, mystery, and romance, was just a Tuesday night for Arbiter Sands. My relations with Ms. Stevens and subsequent rejection is more damaging to her than any physical combat she has ever been in and is all part of my plan to weaken the Vindicators. Now then, repeat after me: Hail Arachnos, Hail Lord Recluse, blah, blah, etc, etc. I'm glad we had this talk.

Misdelivery: Television +++ Missing Information +++

Mysterious Napkin Writer

To Belladonna Vetrano from Mysterious Napkin Writer...

A Loyal Tea & Coffee napkin carried on the wind rolls and wheels about like an 8-bit butterfly before clinging to your arm. Looking down at it you realize the absorbent paper is stained with bloated lines of black ink which appear to be a hand written message. It reads:

Love is a funny thing. Yet it is no joke. Empires have risen with an act of love. Or fallen with the passion it ignites in the heart. I've walked the wrong path for too long. A path of darkness that has kept me blinded. But love has illuminated the error of my ways. Love for a woman named Belladonna. A woman who fights for what she believes in. You inspire me to be the best man I can be. I intend to step off the darkened path and toward the light. I ask only that you join me and take a Chance.

Take a Chance? Could this be from Chance McKnight to Belladonna? It might be some kind of loyalist trick, but you highly doubt that Belladonna would fall into a trap using love as bait, she's a stone cold killer. Still, it does sound like Chance is reaching out for escape from under the eyes of authority in Praetoria, and that the truth he has uncovered has convinced him to speak the truth of his heart as well.

On the other hand, Praetor Sinclair would be very interested in learning that one of his subordinates is in love with his greatest accomplishment, and his greatest failure, his star pupil, Belladonna Vetrano.

This Valentine could be delivered to Belladonna Vetrano... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Praetor Sinclair instead.

Intended recipient: Belladonna Vetrano What's that you got there, Character? Belladonna starts to read over the note and then glances over it at you, studying you to see if this is part of some joke. She continues after a short eye narrowing in your direction. As much as I'd like this to be a Valentine from Calvin Scott, he's way too busy to stop at Loyal Tea & Coffee and if he wanted to tell me this, he would just walk up to me and kiss me. That's the kind of man he is, and why I follow him, he is a decisive and bold leader who doesn't waste anyone's time. This, however, appears to be a love letter from someone named Chance... probably that fellow McKnight. I've no interest in sticking my neck out for a bad cop realizing his mistakes and looking to join the good guys. We all did whatever it took to get out from under Cole's shadow, how he does that is up to him and him alone. I'm not taking a chance, but if he follows through with what he says, maybe he could also find the strength to take me. If he can do that, well, then the Resistance will have found a powerful new member.

Misdelivery: Praetor Sinclair Sinclair studies the napkin intently, even going so far as to smell and taste it. So... McKnight was looking to turn traitor in the name of love... He's right, you know, Character. Empires have risen and fallen in the name of love. Love is perhaps the greatest assassin of all, it strikes silently, yet decisively. There is no defense against it. It turns your mind, body, and soul against itself, consuming the target fully so that they are blind to everything, and everyone. Thank you for bringing me this evidence, rest assured that your loyalty to the Empire will not go unnoticed.

Numina

To Positron from Numina...

+++ Missing Information +++

+++ Missing Information +++

'+++ Missing Information +++'

This Valentine could be delivered to Positron... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Infernal instead.

Intended recipient: Positron +++ Missing Information +++

Misdelivery: Infernal Hmmmm... Infernal lifts his eyes from the dainty letter in his hands. You can sense no change in his mood. Were that this letter for me and that my lineage did not require that I forgo the earthly pleasures of intimacy, I would find this pleasing. However, this letter is most certainly intended for another and it would do only harm were I to act on it. Additionally, I must remain resolute and focus on my eternal quest to purge the world of daemons and their hellish offspring. I shall thank Tammy for her kind words, but I'm afraid that her heart's desire is only in her mind, for there is no love between us other than the love between comrades, nor can there ever be.

Percy Winkley

To Can of Trash from Percy Winkley...

You happen across a strikingly elegant, handcrafted letter in an envelope addressed to Flambeaux. Opening it, you discover that it is a heartfelt valentine from the bookish Midnighter, Percy Winkley. It reads:

Flame of my heart. I have admired you from afar for so long. When times are darkest, thoughts of you make me strive to be a stronger man. In my time with the Midnighters, I have learned the difference between surviving by chance and surviving by risk. I've lived my life by chance for too long, and I want to take control now. I know there is a risk in getting burned here, but I'd rather risk being burned than take the chance that we never even try. Next time I see you, we'll let a kiss decide where we go from here. My heart is yours, -Percy Winkley.

If you deliver this valentine to Flambeaux, you are certain that young Percy's heart will be summarily cut out, dashed against rocks, lit on fire, burned to ashen cinders, and then scattered to the winds by Flambeaux's ill-formed sense of love. Yep, this can only end in tears. You should toss this thing in a Can of Trash to make sure nobody gets hurt. After all, the Fates wanted the letter to be lost in the first place. On the other hand, perhaps Fate had a change of heart. After all, you DID find the letter and it WOULD be fun to see Percy go down in flames...

Conundrum!

This Valentine could be delivered to Can of Trash... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Flambeaux instead.

Intended recipient: Can of Trash +++ Missing Information +++

Misdelivery: Flambeaux A Valentine?! SQUEEEE! I bet it's from Proton! Flambeaux practically wrenches the letter from your hands like a spider monkey stealing a fig and then proceeds to read the letter with ever widening eyes. Oh, my god, listen to THIS! He says, Flame of my heart... Ooooh... that's SO romantic, oh my god! I have admired you from afar for so long... This is like, a love song! Oh my god, is he a musician?! That is so hot! Then he says, when times are darkest, thoughts of you make me strive to be a stronger man... That is soooo... emo... ok, I guess that's sort of hot in a dark mysterious sort of way... Then he says, In my time with the Midnighters... Midnighters? Those... those magic guys in the old suits? Oh. My. God! Proton is a wizard too!?!? What other secrets has he been hiding? I have learned the difference between surviving by chance and surviving by risk... Oh... a risk taker! He continues with, I've lived my life by chance for too long, and I want to take control now... Control, huh? I like that... And then, I know there is a risk in getting burned here... Ha ha *snort* oops! but I'd rather risk being burned than take the chance that we never even try... Oh Proton, you're going to make me cry... Next time I see you, we'll let a kiss decide where we go from here Flambeaux's eyes widen with excitement and she opens her mouth to scream in joy, but all that comes out is.. Oh! My! God! Yes! Double yes Then she reads the bottom of the letter, her brow crumpling into a knot of confusion as she processes what she is reading along with what she has just read. Her mind works feverishly to decipher the strange combination of letters at the bottom that form a signature and a name. Wait a second... WHO the HELL is Percy Winkley and WHAT did he DO with MY Proton!?!? The valentine bursts into flames as Flambeaux's tirade begins.

Praetor Berry

To Bobcat from Praetor Berry...

A tiny hoverbot about the size of a golf ball rockets over to you, deploys a small scanning beam which appears to be malfunctioning, and then displays the following holographic message:

Praetor Berry, also known as Neuron, appears before you. Even though you can only see him from the shoulders up, you can tell that he is working on probably a half dozen different computers out of frame while he is talking. Hey babe, I managed to move some things around and I opened up 23 minutes tonight for us to sneak off and have a romantic Valentine's Day dinner, and I know you can't pass that up, so don't smash the Messenger Companion. See you at 8:17 pm at the Olympus Club, and wear something sexy... or rather, even more sexy, rawr... got to run!

Sounds like Praetor Berry is at least trying to behave like a normal human being and take his girl out for dinner on Valentine's Day, but 23 minutes is ridiculous, even for a super speedster. He's just thinking about himself and his desires. Still, Bobcat sees something in him, so if she wants that to be her Valentine's Day, that's her choice.

On the other hand, there is a lot of damage that could be done if someone else were to show up to that Valentine's Day dinner, someone who is manipulative enough to not only take the bait, but also use it to her advantage. Someone like Praetor Duncan. That would make Anti-Matter -and- Bobcat see red.

This Valentine could be delivered to Bobcat... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Praetor Duncan instead.

Intended recipient: Bobcat Bobcat gives you a lazy look as you approach, that is until she spots the tiny Messenger Companion bobbing tauntingly through the air and her eyes grow to the size of saucers. For a moment you get the sensation that she is about to attack, and then the Messenger Companion projects its holographic message. Hurray! He loves me! ^_^ Oh no, I need to find something super sexy to wear... ah! What am I going to do?! I'd invite you to come help me pick out an outfit, but I don't want you to be jealous of what you can't have... Oops, too late. Nyah nyah!

Misdelivery: Praetor Duncan Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use... Praetor Duncan spies the Messenger Companion approaching and rolls her eyes. Hrmmm, another one of Neuron's Valentines? I already told him that we could meet for dinner at 7:30 pm tonight at the Olympus Club with Anti-Matter and Praetor Tilman. He wants me to help make Anti-Matter jealous... Ah, boys and their games. If only Raymond Keyes was less obsessive I might consider him for a bit of fun, but he's way too high strung and worries far too much about what others think of him.

Proton

To Twinshot from Proton...

You find a printout on the ground. Picking it up, you read the following:

I'm writing to you because I need your input on a complicated equation which is necessary to restore equilibrium to my current mental state.

The problem is as such: I recognize that I have experienced a great deal of anguish of late and have done my best to maintain my mental faculties despite the emotional onslaught. One of the emotions I have been experiencing appears to be love for you.

I understand that your reaction will be initially one of shock. Whether that is in a positive or negative light is the crux of the input I require to complete the equation I am wrestling with.

In order to provide the most accurate data, it is also necessary for you to understand the manner by which these emotions of love toward you have manifested.

Firstly, I regard you as a very strong and intelligent individual. You have natural leadership skills, a knack for keeping morale high, and I cannot see the Shining Stars existing without you. In short, I love you as a comrade.

Second, you are a beautiful young woman. It is no surprise that your appearance, and the pheromones your body produces, cause chemical reactions in my mind that give me a slightly euphoric feeling which can be mistaken as love. Similarly, pheromones I produce may cause a similar reaction in you at times, and repulse you at others. This is basic biology.

Thirdly, and perhaps most nuanced and important, is the social competitiveness between females in a social group for a biologically compatible male. Though I recognize that you are a more dominant and therefore less jealous female, it is still a factor that may weigh in heavily on where our relationship stands.

Finally, my own psychological standing, as noted at the beginning of this message, may be creating links where none exist in an effort to maintain a stable mental anchor with which I am using to support myself during this time. Recognition of this as a possibility discounts much of the impact it may truly have on our relationship because I am aware of it and have logically analyzed it from a number of angles. Still, it may be a contributing factor to your own feelings toward me as a friend, comrade, or potential partner if you believe that I am in some way mentally compromised.

In conclusion, I would like for you to consider the above points, logically, and then meet to discuss so we can define the state of our relationship.
-Proton

This message appears to be intended for Twinshot. You ponder, however, what would happen were you to give it instead to Flambeaux.

This Valentine could be delivered to Twinshot... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Flambeaux instead.

Twinshot:

Flambeaux:
Is that from Proton?! Gimme!

Flambeaux snatches up the printout and starts reading. She gasps right about when you figure she's reached the word 'love'.

OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! He loves me. SQUEEE!

She continues reading.

Shock? Pshaw, yeah right, who isn't in love with me?

As her eyes continue down the page, Flambeaux rattles off the following responses to herself.

Darn straight I'm strong and independent. The Shining Stars are my super group, after all.

Comrade? Is Proton Russian?! I've never dated a Russian guy before.

Awwwwww! He called me beautiful and... what's a pheromone? Is he saying I sweat? HELLO, I can't help it if I sweat sometimes, I do set things on FIRE after all, jeez... ok, I don't even know what he's talking about right now about biology... WHAT?! Competition!? I knew it! He's talking about you and Twinshot, isn't he! Stay away from my man, hussy!

Oh! He's emotionally vulnerable right now, I need to go comfort him!

Professor Echo

To DJ Zero from Professor Echo...

A wrinkle in time forms before you and out of it floats a plain white sheet of paper with a very simple message on it which reads:

Dear Dr. Carl Egon, Your experimentation into dimensional and temporal transportation has resulted in me, Professor Echo, being able to send this message back through time to myself, back when I was known as you, Carl Egon. Hard to believe, I know, but let me prove it to you so you can understand that the rest of this message is to be not only believed, but obeyed. Try recalculating your time travel equations by replacing the constant 'C' with a variable based on the age of the universe from the origin period and the destination period. At any rate, after you recalculate your equations and see that your future self has indeed sent you this letter, I believe you will be ready to hear my warning. You will, in several years time, be compelled to become an agent of Arachnos known as Dr. Aeon. Pursue all possible courses of action to avoid this fate. I am living, future proof that becoming Dr. Aeon is an incredibly bad idea. What I would recommend instead is for you to step out of your laboratory the afternoon of Tuesday, the 5th of June, 1979, and head to the university quad. Talk to Amy White. She'll be in a pair of jeans, ripped at the knees, and wearing her black leather jacket over that white rock band shirt that we both like so much. She won't have enough change for the vending machine. Instead of offering to pay for the bag of candy she wants, invite her to dinner. Trust me, all three of us thank you for that. -Professor Echo

Interesting. It would appear that Professor Echo has sent a message back in time to a man named Dr. Carl Egon, who according to this message will one day become Dr. Aeon, the governor of Cap au Diable. Unfortunately, the man known as Dr. Carl Egon was executed years ago, you should probably take it to DJ Zero. But you do wonder if maybe Dr. Aeon wouldn't get a kick out of this.

This Valentine is undeliverable as written and ought to be returned to DJ Zero... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Doctor Aeon instead.

Intended recipient: DJ Zero Wow. Yeah, I suppose this one may have been lost in the transcendental post, either that or Professor Echo sent it back to the wrong time string. I can take this off your hands. Why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things.

Misdelivery: Doctor Aeon (In another secret lab) [NPC] Dr. Aeon: Alright, who let Character. in here? [NPC] Dr. Aeon: This is supposed to be a 'secret lab', alright? HA! Thought you could foil our, I mean, my plans, eh Echo!? Man, I hate that guy!

Synapse

To Synapse from Synapse...

You find a six pack of Paragon Pale Ale with an attached note. It reads:

Hey buddy, Just a reminder from yourself that somebody cares about you: yourself. Here's something to look forward to on Valentine's Day just in case you end up striking out. -Synapse

Hmmm, apparently Synapse has covered all his bases, readying for an apparently uneventful Valentine's Day. You could deliver his present to him, but on the other hand, you've never seen Swan with anyone. At the very least, maybe she would like to kick back with Synapse. And who knows, maybe something will spark.

This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Swan instead.

Intended recipient: Synapse Hey, alright, what's the occasion? As you begin to mention the card you realize that it is gone and find that it is burning on the ground not far from you. Synapse gives you a look as if he had nothing to do with that. Nice of you to bring me this Valentine's gift, Character. Very thoughtful.

Misdelivery: Swan Swan reads the card and glances to the beverages, then back to the card. This is so sad. Why hasn't that dummy found a date yet? I mean, sheesh, I'd date him... Swan gives you a look like, 'did I just say that out loud?' Right, so... I guess I'll go take these to Synapse then? Thanks, Character.. Wish me luck.

U'Kon Gr'ai

To Positron from U'Kon Gr'ai...

A message appears on your cell phone in the Rikti alphabet. A moment later it is translated into the following message:

Intended Recipient: Positron. Introduction of self: U'Kon Gr'ai. Subject: Earthlings too weak. Consideration: Earth's surrender. Reason: You cannot survive. Request: Worthy adversaries. Purpose: Improvement of battle skills. Conclusion: You are grey to my threat scanner.

This appears to be a message from the Rikti Master at Arms, U'Kon Gr'ai, to Positron, in which he claims that Earthlings are too weak to challenge his battle skills and that Earth should surrender because we cannot survive any other way. This could mean an impending Rikti assault; Positron should be informed immediately!

On the other hand, this sort of bravado is nearly unheard of from the Rikti, and you know someone who would be more than happy to challenge this U'Kon Gr'ai to a battle royale... Blue Steel.

This Valentine could be delivered to Positron... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Blue Steel instead.

Intended recipient: Positron This is a most concerning message, Character! I find it intriguing, however, that the Rikti threat scanners use a similar color code to identify classifications of threats. If I understand this correctly, he considers all Earthlings to be threat level grey, or no challenge. Fascinating, perhaps their visual organs are not so different from our own... with a wide band of color recognition, which is definitely reinforced by the coloration of many of their battle suits...

Misdelivery: Blue Steel +++ Missing Information +++

Valkyrie

To Rick Davies from Valkyrie...

You find a simple letter written on a folded piece of heavy paper. It reads:

Dr. Raymond Keyes trusts you and so thus I trust you. Trust and honor means everything to me. I am trying to be true to the woman I used to be, to try and give her what she would want, and I believe in you I have found her heart's desire. This is why I have decided, on this fertility holiday, to express my interest in you in the hopes that together we can forge a relationship that is deeper than just friends and fellow warriors. What is your answer? -Valkyrie and Valerie Kellum

Sounds like Rick Davies has got a hot date with Valerie Kellum, the nanite infused super heroine known as Valkyrie. Of course, nothing on here suggests that it is for Rick other than you knowing that D.A.T.A. has been working with Valkyrie to study her nanotechnology, but you know that Valerie is just the type of girl Tony Kord would like to get to know better, if only so he could have a look at what makes her powers tick.

This Valentine could be delivered to Rick Davies... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Tony Kord instead.

Intended recipient: Rick Davies Well, I didn't expect that. Valerie is a nice girl, but I have a strict policy not to date my patients. Especially ones undergoing personal identity issues. Still, she's obviously reaching out and trying to feel normal again, to figure out who she is and how she fits in... Susan is never going to let me live this down if I take her out, and if I don't who knows how Valkyrie will take it...

Misdelivery: Tony Kord Valerie? Valerie Kellum. I don't think I've spoken to her in years, but obviously she hasn't been paying attention to my dating life, because Ms. Kellum is exactly the type of tall blonde bombshell I go for. I'll have to take her up on that offer. I mean, it's just one little date, right?

Vanessa DeVore

To Mortimer Kal from Vanessa DeVore...

A pretty woman in rather garish clothing approaches you and hands you a small white envelope with a bright magenta lipstick kiss sealing the back of it. She then whispers the name 'Mortimer Kal' to you and leaves. Inside, a perfumed note is written in exquisite calligraphy. It reads:

Vanessa DeVore cordially invites you to a stimulating evening of educated discussion. No illusions, no treachery, just a woman who knows what she has, and a man who knows what he wants.

Vanessa DeVore? Putting the moves on Mortimer Kal? Well, you've heard of power couples before, and age is seldom an obstacle where power is concerned. Maybe this is exactly what Mortimer Kal and Vanessa DeVore should have...

On the other hand, it would be delightful to deliver this note to someone in Praetoria, where they would mistake it for Vanessa DeVore, leader of the Carnival of Light instead. Tub Ci Tang works for DeVore's ex-husband, Wu Yin. Were Tub Ci to receive this letter instead, there is no telling what sort of chaos could be unleashed.

This Valentine could be delivered to Mortimer Kal... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Tub Ci Tang (Praetorian) instead.

Intended recipient: Mortimer Kal What is this? Mortimer's hands examine the envelope briefly before finding the flap on the back and opening it, his eyebrows furrowing quizzically as he does so. He then begins to read the note and chuckles softly to himself. Fascinating. Let Signorina DeVore know that I would be delighted to join her.

Misdelivery: Tub Ci Tang (Praetorian) (Yin Corp Warehouse) [NPC] Tub Ci: Put your weapons away, Character is not here to fight. Tub Ci studies you intently with his eye before taking the note and reading it, first casually, and then intently. My intentions are my own to know, Character. You have delivered the note for Mistress DeVore, and I have no response to send back to her with you, so you may go.

Yourself!?

To Mother from Yourself!?...

You find this valentine in your hand. You vaguely remember writing it, but don't recall who it is to. Opening it you read the following:

Dear Mother,
Happy Valentine's Day!

I love you very much and am so very glad that you are always looking out for me. I know you always know what is best, and that it is for my own good. I will endeavor to become an even better daughter of Praetoria and always seek to make you proud of me.

Love,
Sleepy Kitty.

What in the world!?

This Valentine could be delivered to Mother... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Mother instead.

Mother:

Mother:
(In Seer Sub-Net 772)
[NPC] Mother Mayhem: So precious, Mother's daughters so peaceful and calm and loving...

Thank you very much, Sleepy Kitty, now let Mother see that Valentine you were so thoughtful to bring with you.

What's wrong, Sleepy Kitty? You don't seem very happy to see Mother. Why aren't you happy, Sleepy Kitty? Are you blaming Mother for being unhappy?!

ARE YOU!?

No? You aren't? Well that is good.

Mother knows Valentine's Day can be stressful, always wondering if someone loves you or not. Rest assured that Mother loves you. And thank you for the card.

Sally

To DJ Zero from Sally...

You find the plank of a ship with a message carved into it which reads:

Hey Lusca, Ugh! I am so lonely this year. I hate Valentine's Day! I don't want to see another hero again, like, ever. The last one to come by was abusive and we only met up like twice. Hasn't visited since. Figures, I don't know why I'm surprised, that's all that ever happens. Why can't I find a nice plesiosaurus guy to hang out with? Anyway, I'm officially striking against Valentine's Day, so if you are with me, come over. We'll capsize some fishing boats and eat until we can't move. -Sally

Either this is a prank, or the Salamanca monster is actually sending a message to Lusca, the giant octopus that has been sighted from time to time around the coast of Paragon City. This has got to be a prank. Best to take it to DJ Zero for confirmation, sounds like Lusca and Sally are on the warpath this Valentine's Day.

This Valentine could be delivered to DJ Zero... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to None instead.

Intended recipient: DJ Zero Lusca is a difficult girl to track down, let alone convince not to try and eat you in favor of reading a Valentine message from her girlfriend, Sally. However, she absolutely rocks on the turn tables, in case you've never heard her. Hey, why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things.

Misdelivery: None This valentine cannot be misdelivered.

See Also

• Valentine's Event