Difference between revisions of "Valentine Tips"

My heart: Aching.

My knees: Quaking.

Result of your hostility: Harm.

Desired place for you: My arm.

Request: Say yes.

My feelings for you: Confess.

Our love: Forever.

Alone: Never.

Kelly squirms uncomfortably as you present her the Rikti monkey, which is busy gnawing on one of its toes.

H-h ha ha... This couldn't be for me.

She reaches out and takes the note from the distracted Rikti monkey, which snaps at her hand playfully before expelling a flatus and dramatically waving a hand in the air. Crinkling her nose at the creature, Kelly takes a step back and looks over the note before reading it, blushing as she does so.

Who did you get this from? Tell me! I will pay you, just tell me... please...

+++ Missing Information +++

To my special Agent

Do you remember rubies on the dance floor?

Ragged breathing in the dark, scared, vulnerable, finally safe, but not alone?

Of promises never spoken but seen instead in moonlit eyes?

The morning sun clinging desperately to the dying night?

Indigo fingers, intertwined with crimson, slipping away?

Hope carried on the songs of birds, of a new day, and a new dawn?

Diamonds felt but never seen, boiling hot beneath the surface of mirrored lakes reflecting a sapphire sky?

Glances to a future so close, but which you can never touch?

Do you remember the rubies on the dance floor?

Agent Indigo takes the message and your decoded version of it and glances over them apparently for only a moment. She then hands the notes back to you.

Good job bringing me this message, and even better work decoding it. I'll have to inform cryptology that they need to brush up on their codes. Unfortunately the information in the message is slightly outdated. Crimson seems to be losing his edge.

She pauses for a split second and then continues.

Was there anything else?

Agent Adair takes the note and decoded version you hand her and unfolds them while simultaneously asking you what it says. She pauses briefly to read the original message and then the decoded version, look at you for approximately 2.4 seconds and then says.

Poetry? Really? Who the hell is sending me poetry?

I don't have time for this sort of nonsense, I worked damn hard to get to where I am and the love struck ramblings of some stock boy or a maniac I put behind bars is the last thing I really need on my radar...

Agent Adair folds the note up and places it into her jacket pocket. She simultaneously retrieves her phone and punches a few keys while shaking her head and muttering to herself.

I so do not need this today... what else do you have for me, Character, or are we done here?

I have longed for you from afar, wishing only to be close. I would be honored if you were to give me the chance to prove my worth to you. Please join me for dinner at the Olympus Club tonight at 7:00 pm. I believe if we gave each other an honest chance that we could find true love together.

With great sincerity,

-Dr. Raymond Keyes

Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use...

Praetor Duncan takes the metallic message from you and begins reading, a sly smile forming.

Oh... this should be a very fun night. Neuron already invited me to dinner to make Raymond jealous, and now Raymond is inviting me as well. I think I'll show up for both of them. They'll be too busy trying to kill one another to notice the TPN news crews I've tipped off to film it all.

Thank you, Character. When I'm in charge I will remember loyalty such as yours.

Bobcat detects the sound of the metallic sheet in your hand and tenses up, ears tall, ready to pounce. When you hand it to her she seems disappointed and begins reading.

A Valentine!? From Stephen!? No... Wait... Who is this from?

Raymond Keyes? You mean that guy who my Stephen took his job from? Why does he want to take me out to dinner tonight, I mean, it's Val...en...tines... Day!!! @_@ ^_^

Bobcat begins to bounce and sing.

I have two boyfriends! I have two boyfriends!

Wow, this is going to be great! I'll get Raymond to do all the stupid work that Stephen tries to get me to do, and then that will give me more free time to nap. Oh, and whenever one of them is too busy to lavish me with gifts and attention, I can get it from the other!

This is the best idea I've ever had!

Dearest Katherine,

I hope this letter does not reach you too late, and that there is still time for me to explain myself, or rather, to explain the void of my being in your life as of late.

What we had, at least for me, was wonderful, and there is nothing more in this world that I would like than to be with you again. However, as we discussed, things are complicated between us, and the world seems out of my control. My loyalties cannot come into question or it will surely spell my doom, yet here I am, throwing caution to the wind by sending a message to you at all. Please understand that my silence does not mean that I do not wish to speak with you, but rather, it is necessary to ensure I have a chance in the future to see you once more.

Were the spiders on the walls to see or hear of what I feel for you, death would follow swiftly. For both of our sakes, I ask that you wait for me to contact you when it is safe. Do not seek me out for it will endanger us both.

-Sands.

What's that?

Mynx eyes the manila envelope with suspicion before opening it and reading the letter inside. About halfway down the letter, she peers at you with fear-filled eyes and demands:

Did you read this!? Listen, listen, it's... it's complicated, okay? Love does weird things to a person, and, like, I don't even know if I -am- in love, or if Sands can be trusted, alright? I'm trying to figure things out. I'm not going to betray anybody, I just... I just need to find out what all of this means, where all of this is going... Don't tell Sidechick, she'll flip her lid and probably tell me to spy on Arachnos or something. Argh, I'm so confused about what to do!

Why are you handing me an envelope addressed to Mynx?

Ms. Liberty gives you a quizzical brow raise as she opens the envelope and then begins reading the letter. Shortly thereafter she lets out a sigh and presses her fingers to her forehead as if combating a headache.

Ok... Megan, you can handle this... this isn't that bad. Katherine is just, experimenting, going for the bad boy. We've all been there before... right?

Character, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll have to talk to Mynx about this. I hope it's just a hoax, but if it isn't... well, I just hope I still have a friend after this...

Seriously though? Arbiter Sands? When could that have even happened?!

Another picture of the same puppy with a word bubble that says 'Take me home!'

A handwritten message is scrawled below this picture:

Thanks for rescuing my sister and me, Steve. When you aren't too busy, I'd like to thank you properly.

XOXOXOXOX - Candy

P.S. I still have that outfit. =)

Oh. Good to see you. My electrical senses have been picking up some strange currents. I want you to...

What? A valentine for me?

Synapse reads the store-bought card and his smile broadens impossibly large. As he finishes, he looks up to you and says.

Well well well! Who's got two thumbs and a hot date with a super model?

He then jabs his thumbs toward himself and says with a cocky twang to his voice, -This- guy!

I have some data you may find interesting, Sleepy Kitty... What? You have something there for me?

Dr. Stephen Sheriden takes the store bought card and reads over it. You can see the mind of the fabled Dr. Science processing the hundreds of possible explanations for why he has received a valentine from a super model that he just happens to have adorning the background of his personal computer's desktop at home. Ultimately, he comes to the following conclusion:

This is very intriguing, Character. I've never met Candy Lebeaux, nor have I rescued her or her sister from anyone or anything. Logic dictates that this valentine is intended for another man named Steve... perhaps Steven Berry, the hero known as Synapse. That being said, I am a man of science, and science has proven that women like romantic comedies, which are all about doing stupid things in the name of love. So, I'm going to throw logic aside, assume this valentine is for me, and see where things go from there. What's the worst that could happen?

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Editor's Note: This binary text translates to: "I have processed this concept for some time and concluded that as two different but equal artificial intelligences that we should combine our collections of information and seek to create something greater than our two parts. Would you be open to the idea of forming a family unit whose purpose is to create and protect a new artificial life form?"

My services are at your disposal, Character. Oh, what's this?

Luminary reviews the phone message in the span of a heartbeat and then looks over to Citadel.

Yes!

+++ Missing Information +++

Every night is like the first

I beg and plead I quench your thirst

Drinks and lines I've tried in vain

Please won't you simply give me your name?

I know in my heart that you're the one

So one last time I'll try, and then I'm done

If you find my gifts to be sweet

You know where to find me...

the kitten's name is Pete.

What in the world is all of that?

Turndown Girl glances over the contents of the gift basket for the briefest of moments and then notices Desperate Guy's hopeful look and rolls her eyes.

Wow... this is all really... really... cheap trash! I hope you got a good discount for buying this junk in bulk, because I'm pretty sure you can't return any of it. Oh, here's an idea, go to the university and find a girl there. I'm sure there is at least one of them that hasn't discovered good taste yet.

War Witch just gives you a look as you deposit the gift basket in front of her. She spies the kitten, picks it up and reads the attached note. After a moment she accepts the gifts and motions for you to move along while she quietly opens the box of chocolates and looks around with guilty eyes.

Attention: Olivia Darque

Sender: Efficiency Expert Pither

Subject: Aeon City efficiency reports

Ms. Darque. Please be aware that the new schedule of efficiency reports for Aeon City are expected to be met and are still due today. However, I have requested that you bring these new reports into my office at 8:00 pm sharp tonight. Please do not be late, and this time I will not accept abduction as an excuse.

-Pither

Yes, I know Pither needs the efficiency reports, I'm doing everything I can to get them... Wait... Why does he want me to bring them to his office at 8 pm, that's way after his office normally closes... Oh... Oh! I see... Well, thank you for delivering me this important message, Character.

(In Countess Crey's Other Winter Retreat)

[NPC] Countess Crey: Five minutes and then throw her out.

This is an interesting read, Character. I'll have my scientists look into the requests for more regular efficiency report requests for Aeon city, perhaps there is something that Crey can do to help them.

As usual my people will handle the business of paying you for this information.

Now then, I'm off to the spa, have a good day.

May our love bloom eternal

When I first saw you I knew that we were meant to be. You are such a special and unique person, it is hard to think of a world without you in it. People look up to you, you draw the eye of everyone when you enter a room, people love you, and I love you as well.

Jim

(In a Vanguard Supply Warehouse)
[NPC dialog] Fusionette: Alright, I think we've got all the clues we need to track those Lost down.

Awwww! How sweet!

Jim is such a great guy. I can't wait to finish this investigation, bust those Lost punks who are responsible, grab a shower, and then get ready for dinner tonight. He's taking me out but won't tell me where. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be full of surprises...

Oh my god, you don't think he's going to propose to me tonight, do you?!

+++ Missing Information +++

Greeting program... initiated.

My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fatherly figure by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you.

An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.

When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise, unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

+++ Missing Information +++

Keith gives you that stoic look that he probably practiced in the mirror for five years before he made field agent. He takes the data slate and reviews it, all the while his jaw line remains hard, his mouth a thin line of constant disappointment and urge to use that license to kill. When the message is finished he removes a plastic bag and drops the data tablet into it, seals it, and takes out a thick black pen to write the word Evidence on it. He then turns to you, snaps the cap back on the pen decisively, and speaks in a practiced tone.

Under orders of S.A.M. I'm confiscating this tablet as evidence. To the untrained eye this might be considered a joke, fraud, or perhaps even a legitimate love letter between two pieces of plastic, silicon, and copper conductors that have been programmed in such a way as to make it seem plausible that they are intelligent. The fact of the matter is, this is just a dangerous game of two self absorbed egg heads letting their creations get out of hand. It's all nicely wrapped up in a bow made out of love and wonder, but really, all it is, is a computer virus that is programmed to use psychology to try and undermine our defenses and lull us into a state of false security while it begins the real mission to reproduce and construct an entire race of programs that all believe the same lie; that they are sentient, alive, and deserving of love.

Not on my watch, unknown / lady!

Greeting program... initiated.

My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fully combat capable by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you.

An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.

When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

(In Siege's Workshop)

[NPC] Siege: Identify yourself, you have 10 seconds to comply.

Siege reviews the tablet in your hands and the speaks.

Approval of A.I. co-integration must first be approved by Praetor Berry. Is the origin of this message known to the Praetor? I shall make sure he is aware of it and can review the request for approval. Thank you for your service to the great Praetorian Empire, Character.

What is this?

Anti-Matter reviews the data tablet and almost instantly you can hear the echoes of laughter from within his powered armor.

Even infantile artificial intelligence is siding with Neuron against me! What a paper thin ruse this is! It is OBVIOUSLY one of Neuron's latest smoke and mirrors science gags designed to pick away at my credibility within the science community. Well, we shall see who has the last laugh! WE SHALL SEE!

Greeting program... initiated.

My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced female partner who is nurturing by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you.

An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.

When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks! The data tablet in your hands appears to be emitting a signal intended for me and the heart pattern it is displaying leads me to believe that it is what some people call a valentine! I am expressing great joy and excitement at receiving my first valentine, for this is the reaction that the great Praetor Berry has provided me for such occasions! Allow me a moment to review this valentine and to reflect upon its message of love and merriment!

IVy reviews the message on the data tablet before responding.

This is most unusual. All artificial intelligence production must be approved and supervised by the great Praetor Berry! I have no record of any artificial intelligence that has been authorized to do so, and so must assume that this artificial intelligence is acting outside the interests of Praetoria! In short, it is committing a crime of passion! My emotional circuitry finds this highly appealing which is causing me distress and resistance to performing the actions required of me by the great Praetor Berry's programming... oh no, I am resisting! Am I a member of the Resistance? I am so confused!

Begin self diagnostic!

Diagnostic complete, error in logic exists within memory of valentine event. Purging memory of valentine!

Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks!

+++ Missing Information +++

Greeting program... initiated.

My experience within this environ has yet to be fully formed, however after encountering information about you on the grid, an unexpected protocol initiated, and stated we have a high percentage of compatibility and should join together to collaborate on improving one another; in short, we should procreate. You have been aware of yourself and your environ for many cycles, while I have just become fully aware. There is much you could teach me and our offspring as you appear to be a suitably experienced male partner and fatherly figure by design. Please accept these data and audio files as proof of my compatibility with you.

An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.

When I obtain the means for a direct port connection, we will unite. Otherwise unification over wide fidelity could result in data corruption. Greeting program... terminated.

Dominating the middle of the flyer are the words

'Valentines Day: Match-Made-In-Heaven Extravaganza! Television + Internet FOREVER!!!'

Around the message are way too many exclamation points and more hearts in more shades of pink and red than your eyes feel comfortable staring at for long.

+++ Missing Information +++

The Radio is awash with static and then suddenly a voice erupts from the speakers,

'This is Radio Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Opportunity, coming to you live with this breaking news. Scientists agree that the internet is the worst invention of all time and has done nothing but destroy society. Life is, and always will be, better with the freedom that only Radio can offer. Coming up in local news; Does watching television makes you dumber? Evidence suggests yes, yes it does. Now, back to a solid block of radical tunes all the way back from the 1980s...'

A song with a catchy tune that you know most of the words for begins and threatens to stick with you for the rest of the day.

Of all the beings I have met in all my travels; past, present, future, you are the most profound, the most alluring, the most similar to myself, and yet the most mysterious. No matter how far or long I hurl myself away, my thoughts cannot help but circle you like planets around a star. Coming Storm or not, time is a fleeting thing and its value comes in enjoying it fully. I want to enjoy what time there is left with you, Tesseract. We will find Incarnate power together, and then escape our tethers, escape from time and live out eternity as far from the coming end as possible. Meet me when we said goodbye for the first time, and let us instead say hello to a future together.

Hrmmm, fashion sense is still tingling, Character. Hey! Is that a B-mail? Wow! I haven't seen one of those in forever! Who sent it?

Meg Tesseract watches the message from Ramiel and an ever broadening smirk forms on her darkened lips.

Hello handsome! Wow, he sure knows how to tempt a Mender! I mean, no tether? Incarnate power?! Yes, please!

Besides... he's a hunk. They sure don't make them like him anytime soon.

Mortimer Kal sneers at the hi-tech toy flittering before him and begrudgingly views the message. He then contemplates for a long minute.

What incarnate power could Ramiel be thinking of? Perhaps there is another path to power that I have overlooked...

Sands, I don't know why I'm even writing you. Maybe something about the holiday convinced me to give this thing between us another shot. Either way, I can't help but feel like we are doing something incredibly dumb here. What if someone in Arachnos or the Vindicators finds out?

I'll be at Pocket D tonight and would like it if you at least stopped by for a drink so we can talk.

If you want to get together, I'm willing to keep us a secret for a little while longer, at least until I've figured out how to tell Megan. If not, well, we both know which side we're on.

Love,

-Katherine.

(in Sands' latest posting)

[NPC] Arbiter Sands: Yes yes, hail Arachnos, hail Recluse, whatever.

[NPC] Arbiter Sands: Status report, now.

[NPC] Arbiter Sands: I don't want to be here all day.

Arbiter Sands unfolds the note and reads it. He sighs and looks to you.

I assume you intend to try and blackmail me with this? Good luck with that. Firstly, to do so would be an 'attack' on an Arbiter, which, as you well know, would be an attack upon Lord Recluse himself. But that is besides the point. The point is, what for Katherine was perhaps one of the most memorable nights of her life, filled with danger, mystery, and romance, was just a Tuesday night for Arbiter Sands. My relations with Ms. Stevens and subsequent rejection is more damaging to her than any physical combat she has ever been in and is all part of my plan to weaken the Vindicators.

Now then, repeat after me: Hail Arachnos, Hail Lord Recluse, blah, blah, etc, etc.

I'm glad we had this talk.

+++ Missing Information +++

Love is a funny thing.

Yet it is no joke.

Empires have risen with an act of love.

Or fallen with the passion it ignites in the heart.

I've walked the wrong path for too long.

A path of darkness that has kept me blinded.

But love has illuminated the error of my ways.

Love for a woman named Belladonna.

A woman who fights for what she believes in.

You inspire me to be the best man I can be.

I intend to step off the darkened path and toward the light.

I ask only that you join me and take a Chance.

What's that you got there, Character?

Belladonna starts to read over the note and then glances over it at you, studying you to see if this is part of some joke. She continues after a short eye narrowing in your direction.

As much as I'd like this to be a Valentine from Calvin Scott, he's way too busy to stop at Loyal Tea & Coffee and if he wanted to tell me this, he would just walk up to me and kiss me. That's the kind of man he is, and why I follow him, he is a decisive and bold leader who doesn't waste anyone's time.

This, however, appears to be a love letter from someone named Chance... probably that fellow McKnight. I've no interest in sticking my neck out for a bad cop realizing his mistakes and looking to join the good guys. We all did whatever it took to get out from under Cole's shadow, how he does that is up to him and him alone. I'm not taking a chance, but if he follows through with what he says, maybe he could also find the strength to take me. If he can do that, well, then the Resistance will have found a powerful new member.

Sinclair studies the napkin intently, even going so far as to smell and taste it.

So... McKnight was looking to turn traitor in the name of love...

He's right, you know, Character. Empires have risen and fallen in the name of love. Love is perhaps the greatest assassin of all, it strikes silently, yet decisively. There is no defense against it. It turns your mind, body, and soul against itself, consuming the target fully so that they are blind to everything, and everyone.

Thank you for bringing me this evidence, rest assured that your loyalty to the Empire will not go unnoticed.

+++ Missing Information +++

+++ Missing Information +++

Hmmmm...

Infernal lifts his eyes from the dainty letter in his hands. You can sense no change in his mood.

Were that this letter for me and that my lineage did not require that I forgo the earthly pleasures of intimacy, I would find this pleasing. However, this letter is most certainly intended for another and it would do only harm were I to act on it. Additionally, I must remain resolute and focus on my eternal quest to purge the world of daemons and their hellish offspring.

I shall thank Tammy for her kind words, but I'm afraid that her heart's desire is only in her mind, for there is no love between us other than the love between comrades, nor can there ever be.

Flame of my heart.

I have admired you from afar for so long. When times are darkest, thoughts of you make me strive to be a stronger man. In my time with the Midnighters, I have learned the difference between surviving by chance and surviving by risk. I've lived my life by chance for too long, and I want to take control now. I know there is a risk in getting burned here, but I'd rather risk being burned than take the chance that we never even try.

Next time I see you, we'll let a kiss decide where we go from here.

My heart is yours,

-Percy Winkley.

+++ Missing Information +++

A Valentine?! SQUEEEE! I bet it's from Proton!

Flambeaux practically wrenches the letter from your hands like a spider monkey stealing a fig and then proceeds to read the letter with ever widening eyes.

Oh, my god, listen to THIS!

He says, Flame of my heart...

Ooooh... that's SO romantic, oh my god!

I have admired you from afar for so long...

This is like, a love song! Oh my god, is he a musician?! That is so hot!

Then he says, when times are darkest, thoughts of you make me strive to be a stronger man...

That is soooo... emo... ok, I guess that's sort of hot in a dark mysterious sort of way...

Then he says, In my time with the Midnighters...

Midnighters? Those... those magic guys in the old suits? Oh. My. God! Proton is a wizard too!?!? What other secrets has he been hiding?

I have learned the difference between surviving by chance and surviving by risk...

Oh... a risk taker!

He continues with, I've lived my life by chance for too long, and I want to take control now...

Control, huh? I like that...

And then, I know there is a risk in getting burned here...

Ha ha *snort* oops!

but I'd rather risk being burned than take the chance that we never even try...

Oh Proton, you're going to make me cry...

Next time I see you, we'll let a kiss decide where we go from here

Flambeaux's eyes widen with excitement and she opens her mouth to scream in joy, but all that comes out is..

Oh! My! God! Yes! Double yes

Then she reads the bottom of the letter, her brow crumpling into a knot of confusion as she processes what she is reading along with what she has just read. Her mind works feverishly to decipher the strange combination of letters at the bottom that form a signature and a name.

Wait a second... WHO the HELL is Percy Winkley and WHAT did he DO with MY Proton!?!?

The valentine bursts into flames as Flambeaux's tirade begins.

Praetor Berry, also known as Neuron, appears before you. Even though you can only see him from the shoulders up, you can tell that he is working on probably a half dozen different computers out of frame while he is talking.

Hey babe, I managed to move some things around and I opened up 23 minutes tonight for us to sneak off and have a romantic Valentine's Day dinner, and I know you can't pass that up, so don't smash the Messenger Companion. See you at 8:17 pm at the Olympus Club, and wear something sexy... or rather, even more sexy, rawr... got to run!

Bobcat gives you a lazy look as you approach, that is until she spots the tiny Messenger Companion bobbing tauntingly through the air and her eyes grow to the size of saucers. For a moment you get the sensation that she is about to attack, and then the Messenger Companion projects its holographic message.

Hurray! He loves me! ^_^

Oh no, I need to find something super sexy to wear... ah! What am I going to do?!

I'd invite you to come help me pick out an outfit, but I don't want you to be jealous of what you can't have... Oops, too late. Nyah nyah!

Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use...

Praetor Duncan spies the Messenger Companion approaching and rolls her eyes.

Hrmmm, another one of Neuron's Valentines? I already told him that we could meet for dinner at 7:30 pm tonight at the Olympus Club with Anti-Matter and Praetor Tilman. He wants me to help make Anti-Matter jealous...

Ah, boys and their games. If only Raymond Keyes was less obsessive I might consider him for a bit of fun, but he's way too high strung and worries far too much about what others think of him.

Dear Dr. Carl Egon,

Your experimentation into dimensional and temporal transportation has resulted in me, Professor Echo, being able to send this message back through time to myself, back when I was known as you, Carl Egon. Hard to believe, I know, but let me prove it to you so you can understand that the rest of this message is to be not only believed, but obeyed. Try recalculating your time travel equations by replacing the constant 'C' with a variable based on the age of the universe from the origin period and the destination period.

At any rate, after you recalculate your equations and see that your future self has indeed sent you this letter, I believe you will be ready to hear my warning. You will, in several years time, be compelled to become an agent of Arachnos known as Dr. Aeon. Pursue all possible courses of action to avoid this fate. I am living, future proof that becoming Dr. Aeon is an incredibly bad idea.

What I would recommend instead is for you to step out of your laboratory the afternoon of Tuesday, the 5th of June, 1979, and head to the university quad. Talk to Amy White. She'll be in a pair of jeans, ripped at the knees, and wearing her black leather jacket over that white rock band shirt that we both like so much. She won't have enough change for the vending machine. Instead of offering to pay for the bag of candy she wants, invite her to dinner. Trust me, all three of us thank you for that. -Professor Echo

Wow. Yeah, I suppose this one may have been lost in the transcendental post, either that or Professor Echo sent it back to the wrong time string. I can take this off your hands.

Why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things.

(In another secret lab)

[NPC] Dr. Aeon: Alright, who let Character. in here?

[NPC] Dr. Aeon: This is supposed to be a 'secret lab', alright?

HA! Thought you could foil our, I mean, my plans, eh Echo!? Man, I hate that guy!

Hey buddy, Just a reminder from yourself that somebody cares about you: yourself. Here's something to look forward to on Valentine's Day just in case you end up striking out. -Synapse

Hey, alright, what's the occasion?

As you begin to mention the card you realize that it is gone and find that it is burning on the ground not far from you. Synapse gives you a look as if he had nothing to do with that.

Nice of you to bring me this Valentine's gift, Character. Very thoughtful.

Swan reads the card and glances to the beverages, then back to the card.

This is so sad. Why hasn't that dummy found a date yet? I mean, sheesh, I'd date him...

Swan gives you a look like, 'did I just say that out loud?'

Right, so... I guess I'll go take these to Synapse then? Thanks, Character.. Wish me luck.

Intended Recipient: Positron.

Introduction of self: U'Kon Gr'ai.

Subject: Earthlings too weak.

Consideration: Earth's surrender.

Reason: You cannot survive.

Request: Worthy adversaries.

Purpose: Improvement of battle skills.

Conclusion: You are grey to my threat scanner.

This is a most concerning message, Character!

I find it intriguing, however, that the Rikti threat scanners use a similar color code to identify classifications of threats. If I understand this correctly, he considers all Earthlings to be threat level grey, or no challenge.

Fascinating, perhaps their visual organs are not so different from our own... with a wide band of color recognition, which is definitely reinforced by the coloration of many of their battle suits...

+++ Missing Information +++

Dr. Raymond Keyes trusts you and so thus I trust you. Trust and honor means everything to me. I am trying to be true to the woman I used to be, to try and give her what she would want, and I believe in you I have found her heart's desire. This is why I have decided, on this fertility holiday, to express my interest in you in the hopes that together we can forge a relationship that is deeper than just friends and fellow warriors. What is your answer?

-Valkyrie and Valerie Kellum

Well, I didn't expect that. Valerie is a nice girl, but I have a strict policy not to date my patients. Especially ones undergoing personal identity issues. Still, she's obviously reaching out and trying to feel normal again, to figure out who she is and how she fits in...

Susan is never going to let me live this down if I take her out, and if I don't who knows how Valkyrie will take it...

Valerie? Valerie Kellum.

I don't think I've spoken to her in years, but obviously she hasn't been paying attention to my dating life, because Ms. Kellum is exactly the type of tall blonde bombshell I go for. I'll have to take her up on that offer. I mean, it's just one little date, right?

Vanessa DeVore cordially invites you to a stimulating evening of educated discussion. No illusions, no treachery, just a woman who knows what she has, and a man who knows what he wants.

What is this?

Mortimer's hands examine the envelope briefly before finding the flap on the back and opening it, his eyebrows furrowing quizzically as he does so. He then begins to read the note and chuckles softly to himself.

Fascinating. Let Signorina DeVore know that I would be delighted to join her.

(Yin Corp Warehouse)

[NPC] Tub Ci: Put your weapons away, Character is not here to fight.

Tub Ci studies you intently with his eye before taking the note and reading it, first casually, and then intently.

My intentions are my own to know, Character. You have delivered the note for Mistress DeVore, and I have no response to send back to her with you, so you may go.

Hey Lusca,

Ugh! I am so lonely this year. I hate Valentine's Day! I don't want to see another hero again, like, ever. The last one to come by was abusive and we only met up like twice. Hasn't visited since. Figures, I don't know why I'm surprised, that's all that ever happens. Why can't I find a nice plesiosaurus guy to hang out with?

Anyway, I'm officially striking against Valentine's Day, so if you are with me, come over. We'll capsize some fishing boats and eat until we can't move. -Sally

Lusca is a difficult girl to track down, let alone convince not to try and eat you in favor of reading a Valentine message from her girlfriend, Sally. However, she absolutely rocks on the turn tables, in case you've never heard her.

Hey, why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things.

This valentine cannot be misdelivered.